


My First Love

by AFY2018



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, History, life story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-06-26 16:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15667245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFY2018/pseuds/AFY2018
Summary: “One idea I wanna do would be a Carmilla origin story.” -H.R.C. Stanley





	1. My First Birth

“I mean, they say that after a while you just forget stuff,” Laura shrugged pulling on her flannel pyjamas, “Do you remember everything, or how does it work with being a vampire?”

Carmilla glanced at Laura and slid under the covers. “I guess whatever I’ve forgotten I just can’t think of.”

Laura nodded and climbed in next to her, cuddling into her wife after turning off her bedside lamp.

Time passed by slowly, but Carmilla just couldn’t sleep. Looking at Laura, she decided to think back on her life, wondering how she even got here, alive no longer under her mother’s thumb. She wondered how true Laura’s theory was. Carmilla didn’t know, nor understand why memories had to fade away. She truly didn’t want to forget anything, but maybe somethings were gone. Carmilla slowly sat up and slipped out of bed, walking to Laura’s basket of old tattered journals and took the least used one, a light brown faux leather book with a metal clasp.

She walked to the kitchen, turning on a light and grabbed a cheap pen from a cup and began to write:

“I don’t want to forget anything, so I think I should start to recount my life before it’s too late. Maybe you’re right, Laura, maybe I’ll forget important things and dates, but I’ll find out while pleasing you adorable curiosity.” She began before explaining her memory.

••••••••••

(1697 Versailles, France)

My first memory was of a Christmas party I went to at the Château de Versailles. It was so large. There were people everywhere and food up and down the tables. Servants were dressed in pure white garments like angels. My parents were already talking with other royals. We were representing Austro-Holy Roman Empire. I felt lost in the hall of mirrors. The crystal chandeliers, that hanged low in the room, glittered and sparkled across the ground as the sun set in the windows and reflected in the tall mirrors painting orange, pink, and red as their temporary wallpaper. I walked around the room, taking time to look at all of the golden statues and mural on the ceiling.

Distracted, I ran into someone.

“I am sorry.” I fervently apologized.

I came face to face with this beautiful woman with grey-blue eyes. She had a strong and fierce look in her eyes. Her hair was pulled tight and had velvet yellow and purple flowers tucked in the back to match the golden and royal purple dress she was wearing. Though even with her impenetrable aura, she looked like she was holding something back.

“There is no reason to look so afraid, madam.” She smiled. “I take no offence.” She took a sip from her glass and glanced around the room. “This must be your first party.”

“It is. Well, my first one outside of Austria.”

“Oh, so you are a representative from the Holy Roman Empire?”

“One of them, my parents are somewhere else.”

“So you are a lost puppy?”

I blushed a deep scarlet and shrugged. “I guess so.”

“My name is Anne Princess of Denmark.”

“Mircalla Gräfin Karnstein of Styria.”

“Now you have met your first friend.”

“I guess I do.”

“I can introduce you to others, play a bit of politics while we are here right?”

“I do not think I should. My parents should be in control of that.”

“Being royal is all about politics.”

“I know, but I still need to learn more.”

“Alright, then I shall help you.” She smiled, walking to a wall. I followed her to and rested against one of the mirror's frames. She pointed to a group of people near the table. “See the royal with brown hair in the red? He is a Duke of Beja from Portugal talking with a Lord of Biscay from Spain. Over by the drinks is almost all of the French Court cornering a Boyar from Russia. Oh my, watch, a Prince from Latvia is making his way to them.”

“How do you think this will...?” I began forgetting the English word.

“Work out? I do not know. We will have to watch.”

“What is their history?”

“Well being on opposite sides of Europe, the biggest problem they have with one another is trading rights, but Latvia and Russia, well, that is something else.”

“Do you think they will make an argument?”

“No, but what happens after tonight is something else.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, why create gossip in front of everyone and seem… juvenile, when one could simply have a professional fight behind closed doors?”

“You are very wise in royal conduct.”

“Thank you. I have had to be savvy in what I do and say for years now.”

“You speak perfect English, yet you are the Princess of Denmark?”

“I am from England, but married to Prince George of Denmark.” She explained, turning to me with a polite smile, “Your English, it is good but more practice and it will be perfect.”

“Conversational is difficult for me.”

She finished her drink and gave me a quick wink. “If you want some lessons, I could give you a few quick lessons.”

My words were caught in my throat, and I found my head nodding even though I didn’t tell it to do so. She just smiled and took my arm, walking briskly out of the room, taking the wall and slipping past the maids. Down the hall, we walked until we made our way to her chambers. She closed the door behind me and pointed to the chair.

“I will actually help you despite your eyes being the size of the moon and your cheeks red flush as the Duke of Biscay’s clothes.”

“I… I”

“It is okay Mircalla. I am told I have an effect of the Sappho kind.”

“Sappho?”

“She was a Greek poet, popular among the ladies.”

“I have never heard of her.”

“Lost to time and to men.” Anne sighed walking closer, reaching out for me.“But history is for another day. Today is English lessons.”

“What can I practice?”

“You said you have trouble with conversations, we shall practice.”

“Oké.”

“How has your day been?”

“I am good, und you?”

“And.”

“And, the words… they are very close.”

“I am well.” She answered. “How is your land?”

“Great. My people are well… we ehh… our farmers are successful.” I tried.

“Your crops are doing great. Great. Your ‘W’s need the most work.” She shrugged. “Let’s try it.”

“Okay.” I nodded, trying it.

“Don’t bite your lip.”

“Okay.” I tried again.

“Closer.” She sighed. “Here, this might help.” Anne placed her hand on my jaw and pulled my lip down as I made the sound again. “Better, try again.”

“I feel stupid.”

“I know you do. Now try again.”

I nodded and made the same sound earning a nod. Glancing at her distance, I stepped closer and tried a word starting with ‘W’.

“Wonderful.”

“Good.”

“Worry,” I said stepping closer.

“Understandable.”

“Whimsical.” I tried standing centimetres away.

“Better.”

“Well?” I whispered.

“Bolder.” She commanded.

I quickly stood on my toes and kissed her, getting pulled in tight. Anne placed her hand on the back of my neck and turned her head to the side. I moaned into her mouth, never having felt this way with any of my betrothed men, but with the future Queen of Britain.

~~~~~~~~~~

(1698 Vienna, Holy Roman Empire)

I remember a lot from that night. The first moment that comes to mind was getting tied into a satin blue dress with dark indigo velvet accents. There were pearls sewn into the collar by a French seamstress. My father couldn’t come, so my mother and I left for Vienna. It was a long and silent ride. I can’t remember why, but my mother chose not to say a word through the four-hour ride.

There is an ingrained memory I have of getting out of the coach and going to the foyer where I found my old friend, Anne. I remember her name being announced by the herald at the top of a staircase. 

“Her Royal Highness The Princess Anne of Denmark.” He proclaimed.

I turned around, leaving my mother in the dust to watch her descend from the staircase. I seemed like no one when compared to her. She was a vision in red and magenta silks imported from all over the world. She was married and we’d known each other for years, though that never stopped us. As soon as she escaped the crowd, I pulled her aside.

“Mircalla!” She quietly exclaimed, “I did not know you would attend! If I had I would have worn something else.”

I shook my head with a grin and pulled her into a kiss. She grabbed my hands and pulled them around the back of her neck. I sighed, pulling away and tucked my head into her shoulder.

“I missed you so much.” She chuckled, holding me close. “I have been practicing my German. George thinks I am doing so for talks I may have with William.”

“How is it?” I asked with my strained English accent.

“I do not know, it is a bit embarrassing.”

“I will try not to laugh.”

“Okay. Du bist so hübsch. Sobald wir uns versteckt haben, werde ich deine kleidung abreißen.”

“Just meine dress?”

Anne smirked and placed her lips next to my ear, whispering, “Then you will have a kiss avec la petite mort.”

I felt a searing chill shudder through my body as she finished her sentence, making me chuckle, “Does not really translate, but I still understand.”

Anne pushed me against the wall and began to bunch up my dress, pressing brazen kisses against my pale skin. She wrapped one hand around the back of my neck and held me close. Anne pulled at my collar, pressing warm kisses against my flush flesh, unbuttoning the front and letting it drop to the ground.

“Was ist, wenn uns jemand erwischt?” I gasped out.

“What if someone what?” She asked between kisses.

“Finds us?”

Anne shook her head, biting lightly on my breast. I let out a low groan, the pain cutting through my voice.

She swirled her rough wet tongue around my soft and sensitive-

“Princess Anne? Princess Anne of Denmark?”

“For God’s sake!” She hissed.

“Scheisse!” I seethed having Anne help me tighten everything again.

“Coming!” She called back, kissing my cheek.

“Good day, Anne.”

“Auf wiedersehen, Mircalla.” She whispered leaving with a final kiss.

I watched her escape to the party as I righted myself, tightening the front of my gown before heading back to the party. It was dark already, so I just stuck close to the wall, looking across the hall to the portraits of past occupants. The silence was broken only by the clicks of my shoes and the slight drag of my dress. I found my way to the room with my family name on it. Opening the door, I spotted a figure on the bed.

“Mircalla?” The thin voice asked.

“Ja?”

“I thought you would come by during the party.” They explained. I kept my distance, waiting for them to turn around. “Nothing to say?”

“I know not much English,” I responded. “Who are you?”

They stood up and turned around, a stalking tall woman somehow completely hidden in the dark.

“A shadowy gift.” She purred.

I turned around, but I then felt a rough hand wrap around my arm and tug my close. I was shocked as everything flew by fast. In moments, I was forced up against the bed, looking into the veiled face. She purred into my ear, her mouth a breath away from my neck. She smelled of iron or rust with a strong musk of the forest. I struggled against her grasp, getting slammed back on the bed. She grazed her teeth against my neck, her tongue searching, drawing up and down over one point. I felt my pulse quicken as the assault continued.

Suddenly and violently, she sank her teeth into my neck. My scream quickly dampened as I tasted blood flood into my mouth. Everything spun and faded to black in mere seconds.

~~~~~~~~~~

I opened my eyes to a low lit room. I noticed a dark figure in the corner. I was mistaken in thinking they were the same being that took my life. She neared me, her beautiful dark skin reflecting rays of the sun from the small room. She walked closer, staring down at me.

“Welcome Countess Mircalla.” She greeted. I jutted up, getting held back by her. “My name is Matska.”

“Was stimmt mit mir nicht? My head spins.” I muttered.

“It will be like that for a while.”

“Warum?”

“First, you need to learn English, Mircalla. It’s the language of the future.”

“I only speak some.”

“I will help you.”

“What happened?”

“It is complicated, you were attacked and now you are in hiding.”

“Does my mother know?”

“She believes you are dead, it is for the better.”

“How long was I sleeping?”

“7 months, longer than usual.”

“Was zum teufel?”

Matska sat down next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “I am sorry, they succeed in your assassination.”

“My what?”

“You are no longer human.”

“What?”

“You are a vampire, like me.”

“Ich bin tot?” I asked in disbelief.

“I am sorry. I…”

I pulled away and hid my head in the pillow.

“I will be back.” She whispered.

Once the door closed, I got up and looked at the room. There was a closet and a mirror, nothing else. I walked to the mirror, glaring at the reflection. I was even paler, gaunt, my hair was sleek though, my eyes were a brilliant red. I looked terrifying. The door opened.

“I thought vampires had no...ähm…”

“Reflection, couldn’t be seen in mirrors?”

“Ja.”

“Just myth. I brought some food, here.” Matska gave me a goblet of blood, my first feeding. “You’ll feel better.”

Once I took a sip, a primal hunger took over me and I just engorged on my bloody feast. I licked the cup clean, wiping the blood from my mouth. I glanced at her and handed back the cup.

“When will my eyes turn… back?”

“After your first kill.”

“I… I do not want to kill.”

She nodded and kissed my forehead, leaving the room. “You are not locked in here.”

“Thank you, madam Matska.”

“Mati.” She corrected

~~~~~~~~~~

I had no control at first. She taught me how to change. She taught me my true form and I got to see her in her form as well. She just ran by my side, her dark coat only a shadow of mine. I caught the scent of someone, in it I followed until I saw my first victim. He was short and full of blood. Ripe and unknowing. I pounced on him, sinking my teeth into his back. Mati watched me feast, partaking after I backed away.

She shifted back to her human form and began laughing.

“Now you have had a taste of fun. We should go out more.” She chuckled.

“Is there a catch to you?”

“Not me, but Mother does, yes. Every twenty years we have to sacrifice someone to appease the gods and survive.”

“Is it… worth it?”

“Yes, immortality for a life.”

I don’t know why, but I nodded and went back to feast on my prey. Though if I knew then what I know now, I would have wanted to escape from their grasp and run as far away as I could. Mother turned out to be a depraved woman I should have avoided from the beginning. The century turned and to the world, Countess Mircalla Karnstein had long since passed and now a new ever-changing vampire was rising through society. Her light brown hair was stained and dyed black, her eyes were no longer a joyous brown but a desolate black. I honestly don’t know if I would now recognize my original self. I thought life was easy, hunting and partying, feasting and playing every night. A new gala with new girls, but I was disheartened when 1714 can to be. Mati Mother and I went to Silas where we stayed in a palace surrounded by other creatures. We brought along a young girl, a virgin to sacrifice.

I remember going to the building’s foyer, it was crowded in the basement and outside. I didn’t know where anyone was. I was alone, despite being surrounded by other mythical creatures. Everyone was barely dressed, some people were dancing and drinking, doing hedonistic things to each other and themselves.

“What is such a cute creampuff as yourself doing here, alone, on such a glorious night?” A soothing voice asked in the noise.

I looked up to see this beautiful woman with her stomach bare and very little covering her legs. She had these brilliant green eyes and thin gaunt features almost like death. Her hair was bright blonde and her skin was almost pearlescent. She had such a sinister, but inviting, smile I couldn’t resist.

“I have never been here before… I guess… I guess I just don’t know what to do?”

She held her hand out and smiled down at me. “Then let me show you.”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Nanaya.”

“I’m-”

“Mircalla, I know. I know everyone, sweetie.”

I took her hand and she lead me outside where a large bonfire was. Drums and instruments played strong simple beats which created an air of ecstasy that took over my emotions as soon as I joined the pit of dancers. Nanaya placed her hands on my hips and danced. I put my hands on her shoulders. She pulled my hips against her leg, slipping between my thighs.

I felt beads of sweat begin to form on my forehead. The bonfire’s heat and our intimate contact made the world close in on me in a hot blanket that collapsed against my skin.

Nanaya ground my hips down against her leg, bringing her face closer to mine. She looked into my eyes, a grin appearing on her thin lips like a snake about to attack her prey, but I couldn’t pull away. I was completely entranced by her eyes, the music, and the feeling of her hands' firm grip on my hips.

Her grin turned into a malicious smirk and took hold of my skirt, tearing it off and tossing it into the fire, leaving me in my pair of short tight pants.

I don’t remember much of the night, only her eyes. They were just so green. They almost seemed to melt into blue as the night progressed then to a vibrant magenta when the day ended. The moment memories come back is when Mati tore me away from her.

“It was fun while it lasted, buttercup.” She smiled, kissing my hand and let me walked away with Mati.

“Don’t trust the creatures who come here. I usually just hunt. You get this new found energy.”

“What is she?”

“One of the main runners of this, like mother, only worse.”


	2. Chapter 2

(1872)

“Where are we?” I whispered.

“Wernigerode Castle. Are you ready, Mircalla?” Mother asked.

“Yes,” I answered in a flat tone.

“Your target is Elle Fräulein zu Sheridan-Wernigerode. She is the niece of Otto Graf zu Stolberg-Wernigerode, staying for an indefinite time.”

“Do you want me to turn her or abduct her?”

“Abduct. We need time to bring her to Silas.”

“Okay, Mother. I will write to you when she is ripe.”

“That’s my girl. Oh, and use Carmilla this time.” She smiled, stroking my hair. “I like that one the most.”

We broke down, as usual, and began the age-old ruse of getting into the Schloss and I pretended to be passed out. The first person I saw was a young boy, about 5, next to me. A woman came by and swept him up.

“Do not bother the kind lady, Hermann,” She berated.

I looked up at her. She had beautiful green eyes that formed butterflies in my stomach. My words were caught in my throat as I gazed at her. She looked at me with a shy smile before quickly leaving the room.

I let out a sigh and glanced around the room. I covered my mouth and blushed a bit. I quickly looked at the door as it opened again.

“I am sorry about my cousin. He was curious about you.” She said, walking in. “How are you feeling? You took quite a tumble.”

“I- I am fine, a little dizzy, but fine.”

“Your mother said she had to leave, and wanted us to care for you until her return.”

“Of course. She values her work above all else.”

“What does she do?” She asked walking closer.

“Merchant work. She and her partner travel Europe and trade with chefs.”

“Really!” She smiled sitting on the edge of the bed. “That must be exciting!”

“It is. We never stop travelling.”

“What’s been your favourite place?”

“I would have to say… Prussia, two years ago. We had time to relax and travel to many beautiful palaces. So many galas and new people every day.”

“That sounds fantastic.” She beamed. “I am Elle, the niece of Graf zu Stolberg-Wernigerode. What is your name?”

“... Carmilla.”

She looked at me with a curious gaze and stood up. “I will have a maid take you your breakfast.”

“Oh, Fräulein Elle, I would very much love to go for a walk, would you care to join me?”

“Of course.” She smiled and left.

I honestly never thought that I would meet a victim I wanted to save. She was so nice. Others were snobbish and uppity for whatever nobility they held. I tried to finish anything I had to get close to Elle. After getting changed into my clothes, I decided to wander the halls. There were many landscapes on the walls. Between the windows were smaller portraits of people with golden labels of every family member who lived there. I felt alone there, but while wandering I came upon two tall oak doors. I opened them to a grand room with full-length windows. The view was absolutely breathtaking. There were tall bookcases across the room and a few chairs and a hearth.

I walked around the room glancing at the spines and pulling a book from the wall. ‘Die Elixiere des Teufels; E. T. A. Hoffmann’.

“Interested in the macabre.” A soft voice interrupted.

I jumped, turning around to see Elle in the doorway. “Fräulein Elle.”

She nodded and walked closer. “I never understood why we had that book.” Elle shrugged. “My uncle loves it, though.”

“What is it about?”

She plucked the book from my hands and walked to the other side of the room. “A young and reckless monk who makes a deal with the devil and faces the consequences.” She looked at the wall and slid a new novel from the bookcase to her arms. “I like this more.”

I took the book from her hands, our fingers barely touching and yet I heard her heart quicken and her breath slow for the brief moment.

“What is this one about?”

“Dream of the Red Chamber is a series of poems by a Chinese woman, but it is only in English.”

“I can read English. I have studied it for years.” I smiled, “Why do you like it?”

“It is a book, unlike most others.”

I nodded and tucked the book into the crook of my elbow. “Do you have any plans today?”

“None.” She smiled winking before walking away. I watched her leave, cocking my head as she turned back. “Unless you have any plans.”

“No.”

“Let’s go for that walk then.”

I nodded and followed her out of the room. She leads me to the front door and we walked out of the castle.

“You are very intriguing, Carmilla.” She began.

“I what way?”

“How you came upon our little castle in the middle of Europe.”

“To be completely honest, I only follow my mother. I never question her.”

“Why not?”

“I never needed to.”

“Maybe you should.”

“Why?”

“I have learned through my life that it is okay to question our society. I always seek to learn more from our ancestors and create a better future.”

“Beautifully said.”

Elle blushed a deep scarlet and looked at the trees. “Thank you.”

We continued down the dirt road and to a large pond. There, Elle leads me to a bench and we sat down.

“Is there a place you yet to explore?” She asked.

“North America.”

“Fresh from their war, I hear they are going through a tough time but are culturally becoming more enriched since they expanded to the west.”

“What about yourself?”

“I always wanted to visit New York. I know that they have an art museum that opened a few years ago.”

A few quiet moments passed as we watched a few ducks fly down into the pond. I glanced down at the book in my arms and opened it, reading the first poem. I could feel her eyes on me, glancing at my movements and the time it took for me to turn a page. She studied my emotions as I read through the translated poems. I heard her breath in for a moment, so I glanced at her.

“I have noticed so problems between the translations.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the poem you are currently reading was not meant for a lover across in the navy but a lover she knew she could never have.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well when she says ‘I could not see you across the sea, but in my heart above all else I persisted but failed’, she means her and her lover were torn apart by a permanent force but even though they could cross it, there were moments she failed, even up to when she wrote this poem.”

“Is she a modern Sappho?”

“Sappho? I do not believe I have heard of her?”

“An old friend told that she was ‘Lost to time and to men’.”

“Any idea of where I could get her works?”

“Sadly not, her songs and poems are mostly lost now.”

“Shame.”

“I know.” I sighed.

Continuing to read, Elle and I sat on the bench as the day passed and the sun reached its peak. As the time ticked by, I could still feel Elle’s eyes on me, watching my every move and reading as I read. She scooted a bit closer and read with me. I felt her breath near my neck and the sound of her thudding heart and her sweet smell. It reminded me of almond marzipan. I turned to look at her. She was intently reading the poem. It was adorable the way her eyes scanned the page and mouthed the words. Her eyebrows twitched at a certain point and once she finished the poem, she looked up at me, waiting for me to turn the page. I glanced at her now still lips and then to those emerald green eyes.

“I going to save the rest for later,” I explained.

“Oh, okay.” She nodded moving away. “Would you like to walk back?”

“Sure.” She stood up first and helped me, reaching her hand out. “Thank you.”

I didn’t think I could blush so much, but I felt heat rise to my cheeks. I placed my hand in hers and stood up.

“Your hands are frozen. Are you sure you are okay?”

“Yes.” I nodded pulling away. “My hands are just always cold.”

She grabbed my hands again and kissed my wrist. I felt my throat constrict as I tried to speak. Elle glanced at me and stepped away. I pulled her back in so we were chest to chest. She looked at my lips then into my eyes. I tucked my hand under her jaw and tipped her head up to kiss her. Elle pulled away instantly, I felt like an idiot.

“I am sorry.” I pleaded, backing away.

Elle walked back up and kissed me again, this time with more passion than before. She wrapped her hands around my waist and kept me close. I delicately rested my hands on the back of her neck. She pulled away again, resting her head on my shoulder and pressed her lips against my cold neck.

“You are like ice.” She whispered.

Her warm breath made me flustered and a feeling in my stomach stir and twirl. My body tightened and clenched as her tongue peaked out and pressed against my still artery. She kept me close and pressed a chaste kiss against my skin before pulling away.

“I really enjoyed our moment, Carmilla.”

“Wait, are you going?”

“Time for lunch is soon for you and I must leave for a meeting.”

“Later?”

“I would very much enjoy that.” I nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~

I had never been caught by a victim before. I saw them as my ticket to survival, but Elle was so different. I was entranced by not only her physical beauty but her intellectual prowess. She scared me. She was so sweet and smart and pretty that I just got lost whenever we met.

Days passed and we would steal away to corners unseen by the maids and servants for some heavy petting. We never got too far due to our clothes being in the way, but I had never been this intimate with another for too long. I had been blinded by flirting with my meals that I had forgotten what it felt like to be the prey.

I still remember our plan, escaping to New York and venturing out with no fear… it was all for nothing though. Mother intervened and turned Elle against me. She lashed out and I was alone, in my room waiting for my next task.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You were a fool, Mircalla.” Valerijs taunted.

“I know.”

“Muļķīgi slampa.” He spat.

I hissed at him, earning a hiss back. Mati glanced at us hand huffed. “Stop fighting you two idiots. Mother needs us at our best.”

“Can not get distracted now. Okay.” He nodded.

I glanced at him and scoffed. “Kush arsch.”

Val lunged at me, his teeth bared. Mati grabbed him and held him back.

“At least I do what I am told!” He yelled. “You screwed us over and I had to clean up your dievbijīgs haoss!”

“What do you mean?”

“Val,” Mati warned.

He pulled away and puffed out his shirt before turning to me. “Your little prize tasted like debesmanna.”

I roared and lunged at him, turning into my panther form and began to tear at him. Mati backed against the wall as I slashed at his face, snapping my jaws around his neck and ripping out his windpipe. Rage controlled my mind and body. Once I was finished, he was just a bloody crumpled mess on the floor. Mati was shocked, pressed against the wall and just stared at me. Mother was standing next to Mati, her hand out. I tried to move but was stuck in my position.

“Mother.”

“No, Mircalla, no. You have let me down, and now your brother is dead by your hand.”

“I-“

“SILENCE!” She yelled. “You are to suffer for eternity alone.”

She closed her hand and the world went dark. I lost consciousness and later woke to being placed in a coffin of blood. Mati gazed down at me, her eyes sombre but strong. I looked at her for help, but then she looked away as the cover was placed down. I sobbed in that pool of blood, knowing that I was now lost forever. The cracks of light on the surface of the coffin were later covered with dirt. Pitch blackness was all I saw. There was only so long I could sleep, so long I could starve myself before I drank the blood. There was only so long I could stay hopeful and light.

I knew then that I was lost forever. Countess Mircalla Karnstein was truly gone forever and there was no way of ever getting her back. I was now a rock, cold and strong. Unbreakable to all.


	3. Chapter 3

Time passed by slower than before. Blackness filled my sight and life slipped away from my soul. But suddenly after the silence, a crashing explosion filled my ears, then another, and then another. It seemed to never stop. I saw dim light peak through again and I began to claw at the coffin. Another explosion occurred and I sunk back down. That one was much closer. I felt it in my chest. I heard yelling and crying from men and then a crashing sound of feet on my coffin. I then heard people speaking informal German.

"What is this?" One asked.

"Wood. A coffin?"

"Yes."

A scraping noise on the coffin and then an explosion.

"Fuck that, we don't have time. We have these fuckers to deal with."

"Fine, let's go."

They jumped off of the coffin and left. Explosions continued for hours until the sun set. I punched and pushed my way until the coffin was broken.

The ground was beaten and decimated. I saw soldiers in the distance and dead ones all around me. As I neared, I could tell that they were speaking German and Italian, but it sounded so different. It wasn't the same form as it had been when I last spoke it, but lazy and new words I had never heard. Tanks and planes, bombs and cars? How long was I buried? How long had it been? Why was there a war? I stumbled around, walking to one of the fires in the distance. There was a group of young men sitting and laughing around a campfire. As I neared, one of them pointed at me and drew a weapon, directing it at me. It was unlike anything I had ever seen.

"Who are you?"

"Relax, Ridscht, she is pretty, no malice." A soldier comforted. He neared me and nodded at me. "How'd you get here, princess?"

"Countess… what day is it?"

"November 20th."

"Year?"

"1940." He shrugged. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, but you, I don't know."

"We are strong Germans. Resilient to everything. We have Hitler on our side."

I quickly attacked him, pulled out his windpipe and began to feed as his colleagues screamed and ran. He was the first fresh meat I had feasted on in apparently decades. As I thought of it, I cried, and sobbed, lying on my back and weeping after I finished. Time was gone and so was the only woman I truly loved. She died thinking I wanted to harm her. She died alone and scared. And I was alone in the middle of a battlefield with nothing and no one to care for or about me. I was broken. Mother succeed and now there was nothing for me. After a while, I stopped crying. I had nothing to cry about anymore, no more tears. I got up and walked away. I had no idea where I was going or what to do, but I ended up in what was now Austria.

I killed everyone in my wake for everyone was on the menu. Time passes quickly when you're a killing machine. I moved from town to town until I was back home. I hadn't been there in years. More than 250 now. It was now decaying. Dark and dead. I ran to the ancient manor and climbed through a broken window.

I walked the old halls. Memories came back from the parties and lessons in this house. My parents were long gone, and so was I. The Karnsteins were extinct and now a dusty and macabre memory was left of us. I meandered to my room. It was very different now. The room was a different colour and the paintings I had in here were reframed or gone. I ran down the hall, passing by the familiar ancestors until I got to my family portrait. I stopped and stared at it. I was 16 when it was finished, 1696. My mother was so beautiful and my father was strong. My parents were sitting and I was standing behind them, my hands on their shoulders. My father's eyes were bright blue in that photo. I remembered how mad he was. His eyes were blue with green flecks and my mother was mad that her eyes were light brown. She was so proud of her dark eyes. She always said that dark eyes are meant for the strongest and most morally sound women. I grabbed a knife and cut out our faces, tenderly rolling up our picture before leaving again, this time towards Silas. I knew that If I just headed to the setting sun, I could get there. Although another part of myself didn't care whether I got to Silas or not.

Time passed quickly, jumping from town to town a feeding in the night. I checked on maps and only got lost a few times. It took a lot of time to get used to the technology. Being trapped for 70 years meant missing out on how the future came to be. Cars were everywhere and non-dirt roads were created. I saw the rise of women's equality and the change in fashion. People were now happily thriving. Cities grew quickly and Austrians were now able to have a dream.

Years passed as I waited for the next sacrifice. With the 50s in full swing, I got to learn about a scary dean with two adopted children who attended the new university. Guessing correctly that it was Mother, Mati and a replacement.

I remember I asked around the campus, "Where can I find the Dean?"

In the main house. The house I had my first sacrificial party, where I grew. I knocked on the door to that old house. A young man with jet black hair and black eyes stood in the doorway.

"Good day."

"Good morning," I smirked. "I'm looking for the Dean?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"A surprise visit. Just tell her that an old friend came to talk."

"May I have a name?"

I paused for a moment and smiled at his cocky face. "Elle Sheridan."

He nodded, leaving the door open as he ran up the stairs. I walked in and explored the lobby. The wallpaper was still the same, but certain designs were unfamiliar like pictures on the wall and the furniture was more modern.

"Mircalla Karnstein." A slithering voice greeted.

I turned around, face to face with this blonde amazon. She had that thin creeping smile and those narrow amber eyes. I smirked back at her, no longer afraid of those features as I had been so long ago.

"Did you miss me?"

"I missed your smile, but by the look of you, I will always miss it. Did you learn your lesson?"

Silence fell and tense air filled the room. I finally laughed and nodded. "Of course." I meandered around the room, circling Mother and picked up a book. "In the 20th century, do people no longer treat their guests?"

"How uncivilized of me." She smiled. "Will, can you please give Ms. Karnstein a glass of our special liquor?"

The man nodded and walked away.

"So when did you get him?"

"The 30s. It was so hard to find another as curious and loyal as Val, I just hope you don't kill him too."

"How did you land this job?"

"Friends with connections."

"Oh, yes. How is Nanaya by the way?"

"Nana is fine, she sensed you were in bloom, but I didn't think you would find your way here."

"How sweet of her. Tell her I am sorry to have missed the party, and I'll make it up to her soon."

"Tell her yourself, that is if you are willing to work with us."

"Of course."

"Good." She smiled.

Will come back with two glasses of blood. He handed one to us both.

"You will have to work soon."

"Why?"

"Do you even know what year it is?"

"Lost in the fun."

"You have four months to get a new sacrifice, Mircalla."

"What year is it?"

"1954." She sighed glancing at her glass.

"Well, a toast to our new partnership and a drink for good luck." I smiled reaching out with my glass.

She tapped the glass with her own and we drank. I may have lied to my mother but I did get a virgin to sacrifice. I did, however, become judge and jury on whom I gave away. I remember my first roommate. She was kind and pure of heart, always helping and willing to doing whatever she could to make someone smile. I ended up getting her to run away through scare tactics and took one of the male students to Mother instead. I still wonder whatever happened to her? I felt bad for scaring her out of education, but I knew it was the best for her. She deserved to live a full life unlike some of the men I met. I did all I could stomach. Throughout the years, I just wanted to die, but I didn't. I almost couldn't. If I ever tried to starve myself, then my undead self would attack the next sac of blood it saw. I tried to run away, but Will stopped me, and if I passed him, then Mati would.

I only felt a light flicker many decades later when I met Laura. No one lit my fire like she did, not even Elle. Laura loved me through every moment of my life no matter what I did in the past and what I had planned to do, Laura helped me change and be the person I wanted to be.

She made me laugh, she made me cry, but in the end, she saved my life.

I realize now just how lucky I am to have her. How lucky I am to be here with someone I know respects me and loves me as I am.


End file.
